In my head. Literally.
If you follow me on twitter then you have probably heard me whine about how bad I have been feeling for almost 2 weeks now, and if you don’t follow me, well then you have really missed a ton of whining. Now normally I would blog at the slightest event (note all the random posts). However this time I really felt that somehow blogging about whats going on would make it worse (don’t ask I have no clue) but well, I need some support now.
Let me take you back to 2007, I was driving the kids to a picnic at the park when my left hand went numb and everything started spinning. I freaked and sped to the fire station near my home, they found nothing wrong and sent me on my way. It continued not to get any better, actually it go worse. I don’t remember much during this time- I know I slept a lot. I couldn’t drive, sitting at the dinner table with my family was rough. Every element of life sucked. All the things I did in daily life, I could no longer do. My sitting at my laptop relaxing turning into the feeling of almost like being on a swing, – Standing felt like falling- laying down trying to sleep felt like rocking, constant rocking, driving- turned into the scariest roller coaster Ive ever been on. After many tests (and months) the doctor determined that it was migraine related vertigo, gave me some medicine, and sent me to physical therapy. It didn’t go away 100% but did get tolerable to the point where life went on. Heck in December of last year it got so good that I came off of the medicines completely. Just the occasional dizziness, nothing major. (keep in mind I shortened two years into a paragraph because I can’t remember a lot of this time)
Until the kids first day of school, after we dropped them off we went to break fast at wild eggs to celebrate the kids being back in school. I knew right away something was horribly wrong, the room slowly started to spin, noises bothered me again. My heart sank, here we go. I kind of hoped it was a one time thing, but it didn’t get better the next day… or the day after…Here we are, two weeks after the second flare up, the medicine my doctor gave me isn’t working the ear nose and throat doctor needs more tests (the horrible horrible tests). To determine what to do, since this isn’t a “normal” ear problem.
Now when I say Im miserable, Im not exaggerating. Stand up- spin around about 100 times and then sit down. How do you feel? The rooms spinning? but then it starts to go away right? Nope- stand back up and spin around 100 more times. Repeat. Thats how I feel non stop. All. Freaking. Day. Long.
Already I have missed so much. The kids first events at the new school- missed it. My birthday-missed it, wasn’t able to do anything. Open house tonight? Nope- missed that too. I can’t read a book longer than a few minutes because when I get up I feel worse. Driving is bad, but since the kids don’t have a bus to school I have to manage to drive them. Every element of every day life sucks. Im totally freaked out because Im scared that they won’t be able to figure out whats wrong, and Ill have to deal with this. forever.
I know this is probably my most negative post, ever, but I needed to finally get it out. Maybe someone out there went through the same thing. Who knows.
In my head. Literally.