I could never do it.

With out him, that is. First let me say this is not be kissing butt to my wonderful husband… just me stating the facts.
I started out these two weeks strong thinking “its no big deal with John being gone- it will suck but I will survive it”.

I made about 3 days in, and I quickly realized it sucks bad. Really bad. It’s incredibly lonely.
Lets fast forward to Friday night when I have this radiating pain in my arm.. and I’m freaking, thinking that I’m having a heart attack.. Thinking oh hell what am I going to do? Saturday night comes and I’m in some SERIOUS pain, so I make a last minute rush to the urgent care. The doctor, in an effort to get me in and out writes me three prescriptions, and basically says I pulled something. Right. None of the medicine helped- but made my heart race. (totally making me think I really was having heart problems).

Luckily Monday I had an appointment with my regular doctor, who promptly diagnosed me with shingles. Based on the pain and the mini rash on my shoulder. Gave me medicine that actually worked. WHEW- now to deal with the 2-3 weeks of pain he said I will have. Alone. Ok. I can do this, or not (ask John about the crazy texts I sent late night *blushes*)

Tuesday I am woke to Jayde saying “mom, I can’t open my eye”. Sure enough her eye was swollen shut. As I went on to inspect it I see that she is ALSO covered in a rash. I promptly give her benadryl which does nothing, and wait, until the doctors office opens.

I was lucky and got a 10 am appointment, but, I waited till just after noon for the doctor to come in. I quickly noticed it wasnt the normal pediatrician that I adore- but some older gentleman. Who, for lack of better words, was an idiot. He said give her zyrtec and sent me home.

Fast forward to Wednesday morning. Jaydes eye is now 4x the normal size… and its bright red/purple. I make another appointment. This time, I’m pissed. Not only did she miss her VERY FIRST art show case and I had to be the mean mommy and tell her she had to miss it. Not to mention the crazy pain she is in. (Did I mention my arm is still throbbing in pain?)

They tried to charge another co-pay.. (making the total to $60 in co-pays for one problem) which I promptly answered with “hell no- I think YOU owe me money for not treating my daughter correctly the FIRST time”. Needless to say, she just said “sorry”.

The doctor came in and told me the “rash” was eczema, which I *think* might be true, but the swelling in her eye, was cellulitis of her eye lid. (WTF?!?). She gave us antibiotics for her eye, and within hours of her first dose- the swelling had went down by 50% and she was able to open her eye. Today she had her second dose and the swelling is almost gone- now her little eye is just red/purple from bruising and she can open in almost all the way.

So.. in the end.. I never want to have to do this alone ever again. I hate being sick and him not being there… I hate HER being sick and him not being there. I hate going to sleep without him next to me, and oddly enough I even miss the things he does that normally drive me nuts. While I enjoy having iChat and Facetime so that we can see him, it just makes me miss him more when its over. This has been the longest 2 weeks EVER. I’m so happy that I only have two more morning that he wont be next to me when I wake up. Only two. I can do this.

For the record I could NEVER be a military wife, or a wife of someone who traveled for work. Hear that John, I lied you can NEVER EVER take a traveling job, I would never last.

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6 thoughts on “I could never do it.

  1. Holy crap, you didnt have it one bit easy while he was gone. Sorry about your shingles & Jayde getting sick. That totally sucks but I’m glad you’re getting better.

    I actually laughed a little throughout this post because I used to alway tell my husband how I think time away from eachother every now & then would be good for us. Up until this past Monday I actually believed it. He had to work a few hours while I stayed home & I was bored out of my mind! I was lonely & the hours seemed to crawl by…he got the biggest hug out of me when he came home…4hrs later lol. I dont know how you did it, bravo!

  2. Nope, in fact this is the roughest two weeks I’ve had in a very long time.

    Funny thing is, I have, many many times said the same thing to my hubby that time away from each other would be a great thing. Now, I think Im nuts. Im now thinking he comes home Saturday morning… I’ll have him Saturday and then Sunday… but monday he has to work at 8 am. Eff thats not long enough.

    This sounds morbid- but I hope I die first. I could never do it alone. ever.

  3. Hi Stephanie! I can’t believe the pic of Jayde with her swollen eye… I would be freaking out. Good job on standing up to the Dr’s office lol.. uh, no I’m not paying you twice to diagnose one thing… I know what it’s like without the husband around; when my husband’s job transferred him out of state, he lived in Minnesota and the kids and I lived in Arizona… FOR A YEAR. It was then that I truly realized how much he helps out and how much I like him being around to help out : )
    I hope you all start feeling better soon!!!

    • Yea. It always seems like a scam when it comes to doctors. They are supposed to case care for us, but they seem to be more about the money.

      Thanks- were both feeling much better, her eyes a little bruised- and my arm is a little sore, but we are surviving.

  4. Being a Military Spouse opens you fully to Murphy’s Law, or what some people call “Deployment Monsters”. Simply, when your Husband is gone, everything will go to hell. I always swore I’d never be a MilSpouse, I was with (Then) BF for 7 years before he enlisted. It just happened. You never know what you can do until you are made to face it. If you can imagine, Military healthcare is just as awful. You wait for ages, treat you like you’re an idiot, and send you home with the wrong diagnosis seven times before they figure out that you need your gall bladder removed. ANY amount of time w/o Husband sucks. :/ sounds like you had a hell of a time! Glad he’s back home 😀

    • Again.. I could never ever be a military spouse. Its far too hard. I cannot even imagine having to the military health care system on top of him being gone. I would be loosing my mind.
      With that being said, My hat goes off to you, for you are much stronger than I am. Two weeks and I thought I was loosing it- I could never do it for any period of time.

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